Longing for Pain
by Child of Insanity
Summary: [SLASH] Harry confessess his feelings for Draco, but something goes wrong. H/D [COMPLETE]


Warning: This story is angsty, kinda depressy and generally dark. It contains character death, as well as slash, so don't read if you're easily offended.

~ Longing for Pain ~

It's a quirk of human nature to always crave that which will cause us pain. It's something intangible that draws us toward it, a moth towards a flame, something dark inside crying out for danger. 

No one is infalliable to the pull. Young and old alike have the desire to hurt buried inside them. For some its just closer to the surface.

Curled up on top of one of the highest walls in the Astronomy Tower, the closest he would ever get to heaven without trying to fly there on his firebolt, thoughts of being drawn to pain were foremost in Harry Potter's mind.

His hands clenched and unclenched in his lap as he stared up into the inky blackness of the night sky, thinking about a certain blonde Slytherin.

"Draco." The name floated from Harry's lips, caressing the air around him, then vanishing without a trace.

He licked dry lips, savouring the salty tang of his own tears as they ran slowly down his face.

Draco had certainly held the ability to cause Harry an infinite amount of pain. For the past months his very presence had managed to send sharp daggers of ice stabbing into Harry's heart. His smirk had tried to cut him in two and the string of insults that seemed to always be falling from his mouth had somehow gained the power to make Harry want to break down and cry.

He never had though, despite the little voice inside his head urging him to simply give in and sob. He'd always been better than that, always managed to distance himself from the pain.

Until recently.

Recently the sight of the Slytherin had been enough to set him quivering with desire, and although he'd never said so aloud, he suspected that prolonged exposure to Draco and the growing well of emotions that Harry had been stubbornly keeping locked inside himself had something to do with it.

Quidditch though, had been the catalyst that caused Harry to act on his feelings rather than simply dwell on them.

The Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match had been held mere hours ago and he and Draco had been going head on in their fierce battle to catch the snitch. The match had been exhilarating, over an hours worth of pure adrenaline and on Harry's part, pent up sexual frustration.

The match had reached it's climax when both seekers had spotted the snitch flitting about near the ground. They had both dived for it at nearly the same moment and Harry had ended his final quidditch match with Draco, the snitch clasped tightly in his hand and Draco scant millimetres behind him.

The cheers had been deafening, but for Harry they held no meaning. All that mattered at the moment was how close he was to Draco. All he would have to do would be to move his face slightly forward and he and Draco would be kissing. But he didn't do that. Of course not. Too many people would see. But it did succeed in planting an idea in Harry's head, an idea that was ultimately the reason that he was sitting all alone at the highest point in Hogwarts castle.

He'd sent Draco a note, asking him to meet him in the Astronomy Tower that night, left it unsigned, sealed it and sent it off.

Draco had met him there at twelve, arms wrapped tightly around himself to ward off the cold, and looking to Harry amazingly beautiful.

Harry had slipped out of the invisibility cloak he'd been wearing then, and had proceeded to tell Draco, in as few words as possible, the predicament that he was in.

He was in love with Draco, he had explained, but much to his chagrin the Slytherin didn't appear to return his feelings. He wanted to know if there was any way they could make things work outbetween the two of them.

Then Draco had done the thing that had caused harry the most pain that he had ever felt in his life.

He had laughed.

He had listened to Harry's heartfelt confession and then he had proceeded to laugh in Harry's face. To laugh coldly and maliciously at Harry, his face a mask of pure contempt.

Harry had been at a loss for what to do. He had just made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. By the next day it would be all over the school that he had told Draco Malfoy that he loved him.

And so he had done the only thing that he could think of to do. He had moved towards Draco who was leaning against one of the smaller walls of the tower, and then with all the strength that he could summon, he had pushed.

Draco had been too startled to reacted, too startled to do anything but stare at Harry with panic-filled eyes. He hadn't even screamed as his body had tumbled over the edge, hurtling to certain death.

And so Harry was sitting on a wall in the Astronomy Tower, softly crying to himself and thinking of the boy who had caused him so much pain. Thinking of that the boy would never cause him any pain again.

And yet as he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around his middle, he realised that even in death Draco was still causing him pain.

He whispered on last goodbye to the castle and its many inhabitants, then with deadly precision, hurled himself off the Astronomy Tower.

His last living thought was of a blonde boy, glaring at him with cold grey eyes.

~ Fin ~

Well that was a tad darking than I usually write, ne? 


End file.
